Lunch of Prodigies

Good morning folks. It’s just me here, making a fucking genius lunch. I’ll let the picture do the talking.

You see, as I was spreading delicious peanut butter and jelly over a low-carb sandwich thin, I realized that there was at least one notch up which this shit could be kicked. So what's peeking out between those two excuses for bread? Fresh strawberries. Fuck right. I know, I have tremendous willpower for even putting it down, much less leaving it there to get my camera and mis-en-scene the fuck out of my lunch, but let's stick with one praise at a time. Hey look, what's that to the left of my plate? Oh, that's just my reusable water bottle. Don't worry, it's not that I care about the environment or anything. It's just that when I want to take out the rain forest, I'm going to do it myself, not as some accessory to the Coca-Cola Company.

All right bitches, I have to go do some other smart shit now. I'll leave you with a gift: the recipe for that sandwich I made. I laid it out a little subtlely earlier, so I'll put it real nicely now.

Peanut Butter and the Love of God

- One round sandwich thin. Though it doesn't have to be round. It doesn't have to be thin, either, I suppose, if you're some non-carb-counting neoneanderthal or something. I guess any peanut-butter-and-jelly-capable vessel would do. Even a pita or something would probably work. You know, I had a phenomenal pita at a tea house once that had bananas, strawberries, and some kind of nut butter on it. Wasn't peanut butter--its nutty notes were subtle as shit. Real good. You should probably just go get one of those; I'm not kidding, that place rocks.