Ahoy, jerks. Now that it's cold out, it's time to celebrate the holidays.
No one gave a fuck about anything that happened over the last two weeks of December, which might as well have been Christmas in July for all my internal thermometer could tell. That rise of mercury in my blood sure didn’t help, but the ensuing tunnelvision made my focus sharp on the days when a little nip in the air could have replaced the nip of gin in everything I drank to deal with to numb hourly my crummy Crimble comportment.
And now to learn why the true meaning of why holidays should be weather-permitting.
This March your boss is going to let you take 1-9 days off, the maximum being for those Hannukah+Christmas festive fucking freeloaders. All you have to do is share this post, and Mark Zuckerberg will personally email your boss to make it happen. You've given Zucks more than enough of a trail to figure who you work for (and against), so it's time to reap the benefit of sharing personal information and cash in on a much deserved postponed double holiday proper.
While you're at it, enjoy the wintery fuck out of all those festive foodstuffs our frankincense-forgetting forecast forewent the fortuity to feature.
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